Introduction
I have had the most difficult time getting through my own issues with perfectionism. In most circumstances, it’s debilitating to the point where I don’t want to even start. Why? There’s a ton of reasons but here are a few.
- I don’t know exactly what I want to do
- I don’t know exactly how to do it
- Not sure where to start (analysis paralysis)
- Feel like there is a lack of information – always more to learn and that turns into a rabbit hole of continually learning more and more and more but never doing.
- Distracted 100 times in 100 different ways (how to stay focused and eliminate distractions)
- phone notifications
- do not disturb mode
- don’t start programs or open tabs on your computer that are going to distract you
- Feel as though it has to be perfect when in fact it isn’t written in stone, there’s room for it to change and evolve with me
Analysis Paralysis
Think back, before cell phones and the internet. We didn’t have Google or YouTube to consume endless amounts of content on a simple question. If we wanted to learn something, we were asking someone we knew or looking it up in an encyclopedia. It’s hard to imagine having a bookshelf stocked full of a summary of amazing information at your fingertips but having to take the time to find it at home or at the library.
Today, we live in a world filled with an abundance of information. The problem used to be access to information whereas currently, the problem is a lack of quality sources. How do we know the information is accurate when everyone and their brother can write information like I’m doing right now.
I get it, if anyone understands you, it’s me. I love to learn and if there’s anything I can never get enough of, it’s information. I always want to dive a bit deeper and gain a deep understanding of something before taking any action. Even then, there’s a rabbit hole that drives me deeper and deeper into the abyss.
Distractions, Noise, & Resistance
Everything is related so even now, when I’m writing about perfectionism, I am thinking about how it relates to psychology and the tools we can use to overcome it and the stories that have helped me develop an understanding around why perfectionists tend to be procrastinators. That’s not to say that they’re not going to get something done, they will, but it takes the limit of time to force them to complete a project that they otherwise would spend a decade on in pursuit of perfection.
Allowing myself to go down each rabbit hole, deeper, and further away from my current project is a distraction. Everything I’m learning is great and it all is interlinked in some way, but it’s noise. I have enough knowledge in my head currently to write competently. I don’t need any other information, but even now, I’m still driven to research so that I can make my writing more concise. I think to some degree, by making my writing more factual that it will carry more weight. That the reader will be convinced that it’s not just my word but the word of world renowned psychologists, therefore it’s true.
But think about it… right in this moment, how many people can relate to this cyclical problem?
Need to do X, research how to do X, learn 30 different ways to do X, then have to decide which way is the best way to do X based a number of criteria, then narrow down the decision to 5 options, but still have to decide between those options and are paralyzed at making the wrong decision. What if I do option A when the best option was really option C? I’ll forever beat myself over the head for choosing the less optimal solution…
However, the problem isn’t in doing X. It’s in wanting to do X perfectly and allowing that to be the primary driver for all of the other noise. Everything else, besides doing X is noise and there is resistance to just sit down and do X because we’ve lost our ability to wait for reward. We’re constantly triggered with mini hits of dopamine, we’ve been trained to have the attention span of a goldfish (or is it memory? I forget). But I digress… we know that there’s a high likelihood that if we narrowed down our decision on how to do X to 5 choices, there’s a very high chance that we’ll choose an option that is sub-optimal.
Maybe we spend more time eliminating the other options down to even 3 choices. Even then, I know that I feel a little bit of buyer’s remorse in the sense that once I make the decision, it could be the best decision based on what I knew, but I could’ve made a better decision had I known more.
And that perfectionism, is what holds us back. It’s the inability to allow ourselves to make a sub-optimal decision that forces us into indecision. It’s not that we don’t have a strong opinion… it’s that in every decision we make, we want to optimize it to be the best. To be perfect.
Nothing is Forever
But… something that I have to remember is that nothing is forever. There’s always an opportunity to make something better. There’s always an opportunity to improve and grow. There’s always an opportunity to pass on what we’ve learned.
How many times have we started something and recognized that even though it didn’t start out the best, we were able to make those tiny adjustments along the way to make it better and better?
I’m sure we’ve all heard how a plane doesn’t fly in a straight line. It flies toward its destination and every few moments, it makes tiny micro decisions to adjust its course to continue to hit its target.
That’s how we need to view projects. Not as one huge obstacle that we have to overcome perfectly. But as a goal that we’re heading toward and making micro adjustments as we go.
Just Start!
So what did we learn? Let’s be honest… what did I learn?
That eventually, we just have to bite the bullet and start. It’s okay if it’s not perfect. It’s okay if it doesn’t even make sense. But damn, we have to start somewhere or else there’s nothing to improve upon. If it’s all in our head, we’re not learning. Because in all actuality, learning by definition is when we gain knowledge and then change our actions based on that knowledge.
As a side note: Later, I should write to expand upon removing distractions and how to free yourself from them so that you can get into the zone… a flow state in which you’re able to stay on task and get work done. Some other articles could be how I use the idea of a Minimum Viable Product to force myself to start and to complete a task and move on. A few other deep dives could be about Analysis Paralysis and how information overload, decision fatigue, and instant gratification are contributing to our procrastination. This then could lead back to how we can overcome perfectionism using the above but in a more detailed manner.